I never got angry at all. I just kept wondering why and how it happened.
But other people were angry. My family were angry. My other children were angry. His friends were angry. And the young people on the streets of Bedford were really angry.
The police asked me to speak to the youth community to calm things down.
As distraught as I was over Isaac’s death, I did not want Isaac’s friends and other youths of Bedford erupting and fighting, attacking each other.
If they did that, it would take police away from the investigation, as the people responsible for Isaac’s death had not yet been found.
On 14 February 2014 four people were charged with the murder of Isaac Stone. They pleaded not guilty and a trial was set.
For weeks, for months, and even now I questioned if I’d missed something. I kept thinking that if I could find what I’d missed then everything would be fine.
As a mum I was used to solving everything. So it was confusing that I couldn’t solve this.
The court process was long. The trial was tiring. Stressful. Hurtful. Horrendous.
It was so hard to see the four of them standing there, and it was difficult to see their parents too.
Though I’d lost in the biggest way, I wasn’t the only one to have lost a son.
Mohammed Hussain, Fahim Khan, 20, and Javed and Rubel Miah, all from Bedford were found guilty. They all received a life sentence and must service a minimum of 107 years between them.
After the verdict, one of the police officers involved in the case cried.
But I couldn’t cry anymore. I was out of tears.
A lot of people around me were rejoicing but I couldn’t. I was happy they had been found guilty and were going to prison, but I couldn’t rejoice.
They’d got a life sentence – but so had I. My life sentence is not being able to see my son again.
All they’d left me with is a hole in the ground and a cross.
The result didn’t change anything for me and my family.
Isaac was 19 when he died.
He loved football and he loved music. He just loved life.
I am lucky in some ways. Because of his music, I have lots of recordings of him laughing, joking, talking, singing. But I will never hear his voice in person again.
At just over two years on, I worry that I don’t remember his voice, so I put on his music – that’s all I’m left with.
This is the third in a series of blog posts by Yvette Lendore, the mother of Isaac Stone who was murdered in January 2014.
Yvette has spoken out in support of the Bedfordshire Police campaign against serious youth violence and knife crime.