One second in time

The circumstances of my husband Mark’s death are well documented.

What isn’t so well known is the effect his death has had on those of us left behind.

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I had hit rock bottom

I confided in colleagues. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know how to fix my relationship.

I had been hiding how I felt for months. It was getting too much. I was struggling to function and it was affecting my work as well.

I had hit rock bottom.

I felt so desperate.

I thought about ending it, I thought it would solve everything.

I felt at the time it was my only way out.

But fortunately I was thrown a life line when my colleague eventually found me.

Despite me knowing what had happened was unacceptable, I thought it would get worse if he got into trouble.

I felt concerned and worried; I can’t judge his mood or what his actions might be.

Even with friends and family for support I was afraid. I was nervous.

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